Mixed Emotions

"You're one of the few success stories I've seen."  That was a comment from my PCP at my annual physical earlier this month. And while it made me happy...I was also sad. Not for me, necessarily, but for the others who my PCP was referencing. She went on to tell me that most people she has seen at her office either 1) do not get to a healthy weight to begin with or 2) have significant weight gain within three years. 

And that three year mark is just around the corner for me. So I had to take captive a lie satan whispered to me: "You're going to hit three years and then you'll gain all that weight back again." When I say "take captive" I mean that I recognize it, call it the lie that it is and refuse to let it bounce around in my head very long. The sooner I can get rid of it the less fear it will bring me. Fear is a captor and thankfully I've been set free!!

And yet...I'm still saddened for the others. I truly wish people could experience the freedom of being healthy!  The freedom of not letting negative thoughts about their appearance keep them from enjoying life. The freedom of actually feeling good!!!

This surgery has been the best thing I've done for my physical health (which in turn has significantly helped my emotional health!) and I can't imagine NOT being successful. I had enough self-doubt and condemnation that if I "failed" at this, I can only imagine the dark place I'd be in right now.  I thank God that He has given me the strength and perseverance for "success" here! It truly is by His power that I have overcome the chains of obesity and self-condemnation. As I continue to seek to know Him better, I can confidently say that He will free me from other lies and baggage I've carried for years. He is faithful!!