A-Weigh We Go

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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Aha Moment

It's no secret that I have relied heavily on God throughout this process. It truly is how I've done it. Yet, I've been plagued again with bits of the past creeping in...thoughts and actions. It's frustrated me, but I keep pressing on. 

Recently I started a new devotional on Hearing God Speak. It's good. I've enjoyed it. I've learned. Then today...I had an Aha! moment. As I was journaling my prayer, I realized that the words God is teaching me on how to hear Him are words that I've associated with eating in past: Crave (the Word), Desire (Him), Feed (my spirit), Long For (time alone with Him), Hunger (for spiritual milk), Consume (truth and knowledge), Drink (Living water), Nourish (my soul). 

And so I'm asking for Him to help me only associate those words with Him and His Word!! May those words have new meaning to me going forward!!


And on another note...my three year surgiversary came and went and I almost forgot about it! It wasn't until I was tucked in bed on 5/9 that I went...oh goodness! Today was three years! I think it's okay to not have a big recognition about it...makes it feel more normal. Regardless, I did take a picture and make a quick video for Instagram this week (though can't figure out how to upload the video via my phone/blog app!) It is a good reminder of the transformation of my life!! Thank you God!


Sunday, May 3, 2015

Don't Look Back...

... You're not going that way. 

I need that reminder. I'm not sure why I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Maybe it's because I am approaching my 3 year surgiversary. Maybe it's because I've seen some old habits creep back in. Maybe it's because I am not liking the pictures I've seen of me lately. Maybe it's because one of the international friends of mine said my weight was better (too skinny last time) aka I've gained weight since I saw her last. Whatever the cause, I'm feeling a bit...over anxious about it. 

CME actually got a bit snippy with me because of it. He reminded me a number was never the goal. Healthy is the goal. I feel healthy...physically, but the mental part of this process can still be difficult! I know those of you who haven't gone through this don't really understand. Some days *I* don't even understand. Regardless this is hard work. Really hard. So hard in fact I've said that I don't recommend this surgery for anyone not willing to put in the effort. To be fully committed to a LIFE change. 

So why do I keep looking back with trepidation? Why must this be a constant battle? I thought I had fully turned this situation over to God, but I apparently keep grabbing on to it. That frustrates me even more! Anyway, I'm not going back, so I must look that way! Needed this reminder this evening. Thankful that God is faithful even when I stumble!