I Can't Relate but I Can Connect

Last night was support group night at bariatric center.  Each month there's a topic for discussion and last night's topic was "The Five Stages of Mourning."  Although I've read various posts on forums/blogs about mourning the loss of food, I can't actually say that I've experienced those emotions.  To be honest, I had a hard time relating last night.  And when I've read things like, "I'm so sad I can't have [whatever food here]" or "I wish I had never had surgery because I can't have..." I really do not understand.  

Pre-surgery, I do remember thinking that I'd never eat certain foods again.  I specifically remember leaving my informational meeting and going to dinner with CME at Kanpai and having a very emotional evening with thoughts like, "I'll never be able to eat sushi again!"  But at that point, I was still scared and had not turned this over to God.  As many of you know, I still enjoy eating.  I enjoy eating a variety of foods.  I enjoy eating healthy foods and healthy quantities.  Will there be foods I may never eat again?  Possibly, but that will be by choice.  ("I Don't" vs. "I Can't") Regardless, I'm not mourning.

But here's the bonus about a support group.  Even if you can't relate to one of the topics, there are other people in the room who are feeling the same way you are feeling.  See, every journey is different.  You may not be at the same spot as everyone, but there are so many things you have in common with others who have gone through weight loss surgery that there is still a connection.  Maybe not a connection to the topic, but a connection to the people. 

I'm thankful I chose the bariatric center that I did.  I do believe they have a wonderful program and support staff and even though I didn't relate last night, the topic was needed and the materials were good.  I'm positive that at least one person last night benefited from the information and were made to feel as if they weren't alone!
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Right on Target

Those were the words of MD today at my 3-month post-op appointment.  I really do like the staff at bariatric center.  They know me by name, remember that I was on a trip last month, and are just full of positive and encouraging words.  I know I chose the right facility for me!

For so many years I have dreaded getting on a doctor's scales.  Not knowing what the number will be and waiting to get chastised about the results.  Just because I've had surgery and am losing weight doesn't mean that fear has left me yet.  But everyone from RN to RD to LCSW and MD were all pleased with my results.  It's still difficult to get out of the comparative mode - meaning comparing my results with someone else's.  So to know that MD was pleased (I've heard he can be a bit gruff at times - though I've never experienced that!) made me happy.  

The official scales say that I have lost 45# since surgery (15 lbs per month), though my Wii still weighs me less.  I've lost 8.5" off my waist and 9" off my hips.  Funny thing is they measure neck (which, as RN said, I've never had a big neck) and I've lost 1" off it.  I wish they would have measured thighs...I think there's a significant difference there too.

LCSW always checks in with the patients too.  I felt like I should have something negative to report (not really)...but seriously, I struggled to find a negative.  We did talk a little about how I have to be careful not to fall in to that comparative trap I mentioned earlier, but she said that's common.  She also mentioned that not seeing ourselves at the new weight is common.  I know that's a fact.  If I don't see side-by-side pictures I can't really tell a difference even if I'm looking at a photograph.  I think that for so long my brain denied what was blatantly obvious that now it can't distinguish the difference.  Regardless, that's "normal" too.  :)

So as far as my medical staff is concerned, I am right on target! Thank you God for your faithfulness and for helping me select the right center for me!!!
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14