The Proof Is In The...

...Pain.

It's been two days since my 5k and I am still walking like someone kicked the living daylights out of me!  My legs, specifically outer thighs, are still horribly sore!  I stretched before running...here and at the race.  But I guess stretching isn't good enough when you've not run in almost a year!

That, my friends, is proof that I've not been as physically active as I need to be.  I mean, I knew I wasn't exercising much.  Heck, I've even blogged about it.  Even if I had been more consistently walking (at a decent pace) the pain wouldn't be here.  At least not as much as it is now. So, though I'm whining a bit about being in pain, I take it as a reminder that I need to keep moving!  I won't let it stop me.  If nothing else, it's another challenge that God's going to help me overcome!

The proof is in the pain, indeed!

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Good for Me

This past Tuesday, I was able to speak at  bariatric center about my experience with gastric bypass surgery.  It’s not the first time…as a matter of fact, I think this was the 3^rd time I’ve spoken at an informational meeting.  And you know what?  It’s good for me.  Here’s why: it helps me to remember how far I’ve come.

As I looked around the room, I saw “me” in another person’s body.  The old me, that is.  I started my talk and could tell when I said something that touched on the emotions of the people there.  I remember, very vividly, sitting where they were sitting just two years ago.  I remember the feelings I had at that time.  Feelings of fear and sadness and the thought that I’d never get to eat again if I had this surgery.  I remember the emotional baggage that was attached to my life then…to the weight.  And as I continued to talk, I was able to get some laughter from a few people.  I saw a lot of head nods.  I saw a lot of what I interpreted to be hope from some that they too could experience life the way I’ve been blessed to experience it.

Same questions are usually asked – Why RNY?  What about extra skin?  What about people who aren’t supportive?  Why this facility?  What do you get to eat?  How much?  And so on and so on…But this question was new this time, “Sure you were motivated at the beginning because you HAD to be or you’d get sick.  What keeps you motivated now that you’re 17 months out from surgery?”  Wow!  What a good question.  The first part of my response was the confession that I’m still a food addict, but I went on to tell them that I start every morning with the simple prayer to Jesus that I choose Him over food.  I then let them know that I also refuse to be unhealthy again.  I’ve got too much to do to treat my body like a garbage can.  I’ve got too much life to live to be 300lbs!  I added the fact that it’s fun to buy cute clothes. :-) Hey…what can I say? It’s the truth.

Anyway, I’m glad I was able to share some of my story again.  It was a blessing to be reminded how far God has brought me.  It was a blessing to remember the sadness that I felt back then and know that I will not go back to that life!  Yes, this was good for me!

I Did It

I made it through telling my story at bariatric center.  Yes, I was nervous.  I don't know why since this is my story, but I was.  I felt like I was a little scattered in how I was throwing things out there (definitely not in any chronological order).  But overall, I think people understood where I was going with it.  

I touched on things like how I came to the decision; unable to do things with my sons in scouting and how I heard God tell me that the obese, pain ridden person was not who He created me to be.  I talked about how the weight of the emotional side of the journey was harder to deal with than the physical weight.  I talked about the small complications I had at the hospital. I mentioned that first NSV of my sons face and amazement when he realized he could get his arms around me.  I told them how I left my informational meeting thinking I'd never get to eat again...but how that was a total lie and that I still LOVE to eat, but that I am treating food as a means of life support not as a reward, or friend to comfort me.  I told them that I felt bariatric center did a GREAT job of preparing me for the surgery...nutritionally as well as emotionally.  I told them to take advantage of that!  I mentioned exercise and how I still struggle getting in what I need to, but that its a must for long term success.  (note to self)  I gave an example of what my typical food intake looks like...at 9 months out.  I reminded them that WLS won't cure their obesity.  This surgery won't fix food addictions.  There is still a lot of work to be done.  I read them the analogy of the life boat.  I answered questions about how much time I was off work, what about the extra skin, has anything made me sick?  Oh!  I told them if they pursue this surgery... DO NOT CHEAT!  I told them that they deserve to NOT cheat.  They are worth this and they should not cheat themselves.  I bragged on the staff at the bariatric center.  I truly feel they deserve it!  I was asked my suggestion on how to tell family who would be opinionated.  I told them that I handled it this way, "I know you're concerned.  Feel free to discuss your concerns among yourselves. I will not discuss them with you."  The person who asked this said that she hadn't thought of it as concern before, but just that her parents were opinionated.  She said that looking at it now, she bets it is out of concern.

I don't remember what else was really discussed, I just hope that there was something I said that helped them.  I don't know if I'm still suppose to speak next month or not.  I didn't ask.  If I am speaking, the one thing I will do differently is to have a little more order to what I say.  Regardless, I'm glad I did this.  It gave me some time to really look back at the past 9 months (year including pre-op) and be truly thankful for God's guidance and the work He has done in me already!  He is so faithful!
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Sooner Than Expected

I received a call this morning from my bariatric center. The person they had scheduled to talk at this evening's orientation meeting is ill and can't make it so they wanted to know if I would be willing to share my story tonight! I said yes. EEK!!!

I have nothing prepared and work is way too busy right now for me to even consider trying to come up with something today. I will trust God to put the words in my mouth that the attendees need to hear...not only about the program, but about how He sees them!

Prayers needed and gratefully accepted!!

This is Not the Blog Entry I had Planned

Confession.  I've stopped exercising.  EEK!!!

My brain knows I need to exercise.  Heck, when I was exercising I didn't mind it - well at least not the Body Pump class.  And yet, I've not found the motivation to get back in the groove.  Plenty of excuses why I stopped; probably even more why I've not started back.  But they are all just excuses.  

I need to find that motivation again.  I need to find carve out the time again.  I must.  This new life God has granted me through gastric bypass surgery cannot be wasted by reverting back to old ways.  I must do this.

And I just changed the title to this entry because this is not the entry I had planned.  Funny thing though is that I now can't even remember what I was going to blog about this morning.  I guess I'm hearing that exercise is THAT important.

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14