Shopping

"Can't you just go back to dreading shopping?"  

Yes, I heard that today.  I guess I could almost consider shopping a transfer addiction...maybe?  I'm not shopping all the time, though I do look at a lot of things now that I wouldn't have in past.  (Pinterest is part of the problem too!)  It's so different to be able to walk into stores and KNOW there are clothes there that would fit!  I can pretty much wear a medium anywhere I go.  A medium!!!!!  I've done a decent job of staying the course and not buying everything I like...and definitely not at full price.  Lately, though I've been searching for various maxi skirts/dresses.  With an upcoming trip to Turkey, I want to look stylish and be comfy at the same time.  It's just hard not to want to buy new things.  Shopping has finally become somewhat fun and not a huge brain game trying to find something that I can wear and getting depressed that even the largest sizes in some stores don't fit.  I guess I could go back to dreading it...or at least pretending that I do.
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Not Created Equal

Let me start by saying I have an amazing hubby.  What man ever says, "Honey, it's Saturday, the boys are gone, our finances are okay right now, so if you want to go to the consignment shop to get clothes that fit..."  My man does! 

Clothing sizes are NOT created equal!  CME still goes clothes shopping with me because generally he does a better job of finding items that fit me.  It's crazy.  Anyway, my size 10 jeans fit very comfortably now.  My friend even asked me this morning if they were getting too loose.  (I have the best friends too!)  My 12s...yeah..loose.  So I thought I'd see what size I could fit into.  I picked up several pairs of size 8 jeans to give it a try.  Yeah, that was a wee bit too ambitious.  Some got stuck half way up my leg, others made it up, but were no where close to buttoning.  I came home with one pair of never been washed Tommy Hilfiger jeans - size 9 ($4.99) and one pair of Ann Taylor Loft dress pants - size 8 ($2.00).  Truly...can't wrap my brain around those sizes!  

But shirts?  This is where it's so important to not look at the sizes on the tags.  One shirt was a button down size XL.  Yes, I tried it on anyway because it looked small.  I was right.  I tried on Lg and Med and even had one sweater that I tried on that was a Sm.  No wonder we have body image issues!  No wonder we struggle with self confidence!  We get stuck on a size and associate that XL with a negative body image.  Yet today I bought XL, Lg and M shirts.  I left with 7 shirts and 2 pair of pants for less than $60.00.  I love consignment shops!

Pictures below are for CME's benefit...he thought I needed to post some of my bargain finds.

Comfy size 10 jeans - L top

CME:  Lift your arms

Size 10 jeans - L top

Size 8 pants - XL top

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Thoughts and such...

I realize that I've not blogged much this month.  Part of it was intentional.  Part of it was to stay away from the internet and electronic world as much as possible.  I didn't want to lose sight of the meaning and season of CHRISTmas.  I didn't want January 1 to come and wonder, "Wow...did I truly focus on CHRIST?"  I'm glad I used my time in other ways, like family game nights and crafting gifts as well as more time spent in the Word.  However, I do think I missed blogging.  Sometimes it's just nice to get thoughts and such out of my head.  :)

So let me try to remember things I wanted to say...

The Pits - I was struggling.  Really.  Did you know that armpits (ha!  fooled ya!) are concave and that when you shave them, it's not a guarantee that you'll get all the hair if you're not paying close attention?  I didn't.  I didn't have any idea until I was drying my hair one morning (after having just shaved the pits) and realized I had missed a whole section on both pits!  Whole. Sections.  Why?  Because my pits are no longer like little mounds under my arm...they are truly pits.  Go figure!

Coffee - One of the things I was concerned with prior to surgery was the ability to drink coffee post-surgery.  I'm not going to lie.  I missed coffee for a while.  Now?  I don't.  Why? I'm drinking coffee.  Not nearly as much as I use to (3/4 of a pot a day might have been excessive to begin with) but I am enjoying it one cup at a time. CME got me the family a Mr. Coffee single serve coffee brewer (Kuerig K-cup compatible) that I use daily. Love the variety and the single servings!

Clothes - had to break down and go shopping again. I had one pair of pants that actually fit.  All others were too big.  I bought mostly size 12 pants, but did find one pair of size 10 (TEN!!!) jeans that fit too.  Most shirts I wear now are a medium.  I can't wrap my brain around that size. LoL  Really!  I look at the shirt and think, "there is no way that will fit!"  But it does.  SO strange, yet SO exciting!

Weight - I've not weighed in over two weeks now.  I'm not sure why.  I don't know if I'm afraid of what the scales will say or if I'm just not as interested in the number.  (I'm thinking it's more of the fear factor.)  I plan on weighing on Sunday.  That seems to be my "weigh-in" day.

Exercise - still my nemesis.  I've not been to an exercise class in nearly 2 months. TWO. MONTHS!  I really do like the Body Pump class.  I just need to get back into the habit of going.  I've kind of fallen back into the old habit of "I'm too busy" when in all honesty, I'm choosing not to go.  This will change...I cannot do this without a consistent exercise plan.  And by do this, I mean make this a life long change, not just another temporary weight loss.  Exercise will be key!!!

Shrinkles - UGH!!!  That's what I think about that!!  The excess skin is nasty.  The droopiness of it all is frustrating.  Good thing I can hide it under clothes!

Food - I made it through the CHRISTmas holiday fairly unscathed food wise.  I made lasagna for our family gathering and ate the stuffing out of it.  I chose to avoid the noodles so I could have more of the good stuff!  A couple moments of, "I wish I could have a little of that" hit me...like the banana split cake or hot wassail my dad always makes.  But for the most part, I didn't feel cheated by not eating the other goodies... fettuccine alfredo, fudge / candies, cookies, etc.  Well, I did have 1/2 of an oatmeal cookie my sister made...she made them with Splenda.  :)  I haven't measured/journaled nearly like I should and I haven't gotten my protein in while on break this week.  Both of those need to change.  All in all, food was not a focus for me...praise God!

Rings - One of the "smaller" features for me were my hands.  At my largest, my ring fingers were a size 7.  That's not big for someone whose weight once topped 300 lbs!  (did I just admit that in writing?!)  I really didn't think I'd lose weight in my hands.  I was wrong.  A few weeks back, I went to wave at a friend and my wedding rings slid all the way to the top of my finger!  That was a clear indicator that I needed to have them re-sized!  I was amazed that my ring size is now a 5.5.  Though I could wear a 5, getting it over my knuckle was painful so I opted to go for the 5.5 so it wouldn't be uncomfortable this summer.

Reflections - literally.  Every now and again, I'll catch a reflection in a window and have to do a double take to realize that it's me.  What stands out to me are my legs.  I'm use to seeing LARGE legs in a reflection and when I see them now, it shocks me.  My legs aren't large anymore and I can even see my knee caps when I'm sitting down.  Defined kneecaps.  Crazy!

Reactions - I'm still not use to the reactions of others; people who haven't seen me in years; people who had no idea I had surgery.  I enjoy their kind words and compliments, but I find myself blushing at their "oozing" comments.  (Let me clarify that...these are comments from women! LoL)  Also, I'm sure CME is tired of some of the questions he gets asked, "What about your new skinny wife?"  "What do you think of her weight loss?"  He is so sweet in his responses, which are usually as simple as, "She's the same person to me."  or "Her weight doesn't matter to me."  He rocks.

Pictures - I've finally started to recognize differences in pictures.  Sometimes I see it when it's just me in the picture (like the one below that CME took while I was making my sister's Christmas gift) but I mainly see it when looking at pictures from this time last year.  I find it hard to look at the before pictures knowing that those are me!  I don't even recognize myself in those.  I guess I truly didn't see that version of me. 

CME - I can't blog about this journey without acknowledging the incredible love and support that I've gotten from my husband.  From the first time sitting in the informational meeting through every step of this process, he has been amazing.  He may not always understand how I feel or how some things affect me, but he has always been loving and supportive.  I am so blessed to be his wife!  143 CME!

So there's some catching up for the month.  I have said this before and I will continue to say it.  God has given me the strength to pursue this journey.  He has continued to open my eyes to His definition of healthy and He is the one who deserves the glory for the successes I've experienced.  I can't imagine how anyone goes through this life...this journey...without Him!

Now...here are some pictures to help me see the difference a year can make.  

Working on my sister's necklace

December 23, 2012

Christmas Eve 2011 - Notice me trying to "hide" behind the boys as much as possible.

With my oldest (and gbaby!)

Christmas Eve 2012 - what a difference!  Not hiding and look at how tall Parker has gotten!!

My every day hero!!!  <3

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Twelve

That is the size jeans that I put on this evening!  A co-worker brought me a pair of 12 jeans that were too short for her.  I decided to see if, by chance, I could wear them.  And well...I can!  They're a tad long for me, but hello!?!?!? Did you read that it was a size 12?!?  Limited Jeans - size 12!  Yes, I'm silly excited about it.  Gosh, I haven't been a size 12 since before high school.  

So the white bulky sweater doesn't really show a difference, but here are my size 12 jeans!  (Did I mention that they're a size 12?!?!?)

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

My Saturday

I got to sleep in today!  I didn't get out of bed until almost 9:30!!  I think that's the first time in...well, I don't remember how long it's been!  The extra sleep was nice - though it kind of threw my eating schedule off.  It's 5:30 pm and I've not officially had "lunch" yet - though I did have a great fruit protein shake that had 33g of protein.  I may count that as lunch...we'll see how the rest of the night goes.  I have gotten in my fluids!  It's been WAY too hot not to drink.  So at least I've got that going.


I left my house around 11:00 am to try to find some clothes at the resale shops.  I really don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes that I won't be able to wear long, but it has come down to the fact that I need some clothes for a trip I'm going on in a week combined with the need for some things I can wear to work that aren't totally hanging.  I had read a good entry on Paige's blog that she titled Clothes in Stages.  She gave a lot of great advice about shopping for clothes and how we will gravitate toward the wrong (too big) sizes.  She even suggested taking a friend to help you realize what truly fit versus what fit because it was too big!  Though I had read it...I didn't heed her warnings!  Seriously, next time I will ask someone to go with me!


Five hours later, I had hit 4 resale shops, Fashion Bug, TJ Maxx, Target, Kohl's, Wal-Mart and Gordman's.  Let me state, for the record, I. do. not. like. to. shop!  But sometimes we have to do what we have to do!  At the end of of the day, I bought 2 skirts, 2 pair of capris, 3 shirts, 2 pair of shoes and a necklace - for about $50.  The resale shops won out...even though one of them was a bit more expensive than the other.  I almost broke down and got two shirts at Gordman's but I wasn't totally comfortable with them and at $12.99/ea I just couldn't do it.  There is one shirt at Fashion Bug that I *may* go back and buy.  Maybe.  -shrug-


Now it's time to remove all the too big clothes for good!  It feels odd (in a good way) to wear clothes that fit.  I guess I've gotten use to baggy.


In other news, the Big Bang 5k results got posted.  First race was 1:01.23, this one was 56:31.  I'll take it!  Also, we found out that our youngest son actually got the 10th place of the male walkers which means he gets a trophy too!  I emailed the president of the sponsoring club to see how we can go about getting it.  He's happy that he gets a trophy too!


So there's my Saturday re-cap.  Oh...and I didn't weigh.  (Sorry CME)  Maybe tomorrow.  ;-)
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14