A-Weigh We Go

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Sunday, May 3, 2015

Don't Look Back...

... You're not going that way. 

I need that reminder. I'm not sure why I'm feeling a little out of sorts. Maybe it's because I am approaching my 3 year surgiversary. Maybe it's because I've seen some old habits creep back in. Maybe it's because I am not liking the pictures I've seen of me lately. Maybe it's because one of the international friends of mine said my weight was better (too skinny last time) aka I've gained weight since I saw her last. Whatever the cause, I'm feeling a bit...over anxious about it. 

CME actually got a bit snippy with me because of it. He reminded me a number was never the goal. Healthy is the goal. I feel healthy...physically, but the mental part of this process can still be difficult! I know those of you who haven't gone through this don't really understand. Some days *I* don't even understand. Regardless this is hard work. Really hard. So hard in fact I've said that I don't recommend this surgery for anyone not willing to put in the effort. To be fully committed to a LIFE change. 

So why do I keep looking back with trepidation? Why must this be a constant battle? I thought I had fully turned this situation over to God, but I apparently keep grabbing on to it. That frustrates me even more! Anyway, I'm not going back, so I must look that way! Needed this reminder this evening. Thankful that God is faithful even when I stumble!

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