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Friday, July 19, 2013

Oh My Aching Back

Literally.

I posted on Monday about needing to get more exercise.  Tuesday morning at 8am I bent over at my desk at work and about went to my knees.  OH. MY. ACHING. BACK.

Here it is Friday evening and I've had three chiropractor appointments and am on the mend, but not mended (as my Chiropractor informed me).  Yes, I'm improving, but it's not fixed yet and it frustrates me.  Though it does confirm one thing - that no matter my size, my back is going to go out if it so chooses.  I don't know...I think that maybe I thought some of my back problems of past (seriously...past...as in the last time I even needed to go to the chiropractor was over three years ago) was because of my weight.  But apparently that's not the case.  Sure, the everyday aching for carrying around an extra person was because of the weight, but when it goes out...not so much.

Anyway, I'm on the mend... have another follow-up appt on Monday and am hoping to be in a much better place by then.  Tonight I'm thankful for friends who pray for healing for me and for a great chiropractor who is helping my back get back to a good place.  Thank you, God, for both.


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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Monday, July 15, 2013

Blah

I've been wanting to get back to blogging regularly, but man I've been soooo busy.  It's not bad to be busy, but I find that I don't do as well on taking care of myself when I'm busy. I know...big revelation for all of us there, huh?  Life happens and sometimes I pack more stuff into my day than I really should and leave out things that I really need to be doing.  Journaling...blogging...exercising.  Yep, that nasty "E" word is still my nemesis.  I'm walking some..but that's about it.  I do "run" the stairs when I need to go to a different floor at work, but big whoop.  I'm not consistent and I know I need to be; I just can't seem to find the motivation.

Weight-wise, I'm still doing just fine.  On any given day, my weight is between 149# and 152#.  Seems to have plateaued here - which is an okay range for me at 5'6"(ish).  (Still remembering I've got at least 15 pounds of excess skin.)  Problem is that I know I need to be doing weight training.  As I continue to age, good strong muscles will help with better mobility, balance and overall better health.  I know this...yet, I can't seem to find the motivation I need.  I liked when I went to the Body Pump classes, but I can't seem to fit those in any more.  My current work situation doesn't allow for the flexible lunch schedule and getting to the gym after work just isn't happening.  And my schedule is only getting busier as I look ahead.  All good things, really - things that will be feeding me Spiritually (which I am craving), but busier nonetheless.  Maybe I will finally start utilizing the Wii or X-Box.  Something is better than nothing, right?

Blah.  That's kinda how I feel about it tonight.  Blah.  ________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Battleground

Every day is a battle.  

We just returned from a quick holiday weekend with CME's family in Michigan.  It was a wonderful time with lots of family that we don't see enough and plenty of food.  Not only were we celebrating July 4th, but also CME and his Grampa's birthdays.  There were trays of veggies and dips, fruits, pies, brats and burgers. Though I chose wisely on what I was eating, my eating "pattern" was totally messed up.  CME asked me once if I realized I'd been eating continuously for nearly an hour.  He was right - and yes, I was aware.  I was justifying it in my mind that I was eating veggies...which I was....with a little of the various dips.  But he was right, so I left the kitchen.

My first reaction to CME was that of hurt feelings.  Why did he even notice?  Was he "watching" me?  I'll admit it, I was frustrated.  I knew I was eating...and I knew it had been over a period of time. (aka grazing) The more I thought about it though, the more I realized I needed that reminder.  Remember a while back when I said that even healthy grazing is still grazing?  I cannot fall back into that pattern long term.  I'm not overly concerned about a one-day event like the 4th, but for food addicts (yes, I'm still a food addict) grazing is a slippery slope.  Though first annoyed, I'm glad I had CME there to help me keep things in perspective...sort of like my own personal cheerleader.  I did fine the rest of the weekend and overall am pleased with my efforts, but really need to improve in my self-monitoring and stop justifying unhealthy habits.

I ran into some old thinking while grocery shopping today.  Seriously.  Usually CME and I go together, but he's at work and our refrigerator and cupboards were bare.  I picked up a lot of fruits and vegetables, but I also had things in my cart that I "thought" would be nice for the boys while home this week: key lime cupcake mix (it was on sale!); chips; ice cream.  Then when I picked up the candy bars at the check out line I had an aha! moment.  What on earth was I doing?  The boys don't NEED any of that.  And I certainly don't.  So I got out of line, put the unhealthy junk away and realized that I was falling back into some old patterns...ones that would lead to unhealthy choices for not only me, but for my family.  Another reminder that I need to regain better self-monitoring abilities.  I have gotten a little lax in my food discipline now that I'm 14 months post-op and don't need to lose more weight.  That lackadaisical attitude is exactly how Satan will creep back in and tempt me to go back to an unhealthy life.  That is not an option.  God is in control and He reminds me - through CME and random thoughts - that my life is to bring Him glory; therefore I need to keep fighting the battle. Every. single. day.  

I'm in no way beating myself up about the issue, but just trying to keep it real here and keep myself accountable for all actions; good or bad.  I'm thankful for CME.  I'm thankful that God is so faithful!!  I am blessed.


Family goodies - looks like it's right off Pinterest, yes??

Birthday boys!
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14