Another Milestone

"I'm not obese any more!!!" I screeched this morning.  I weighed on the Wii and I didn't, hear those icky words "That's obese."  I took a double take and sure enough, my BMI is now considered "Overweight" as opposed to obese.  It's a huge milestone for me.  I'm the weight now that I was when I was a freshman in high school.  That means that for over 30 years, I have been was obese.  My goodness!  THIRTY YEARS!

Thankfully God has given me the tool to change the next 30 years.  I will NEVER hear "That's obese" again!  Ever!  Thank you, Jesus!!!
________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Slee-ee-ee-py!

Sleepy.  That's the best term to describe this past week.  All week long I felt as if I could fall asleep any time... any where.  (And occasionally I did! - Sorry CME!) True, the week before was a busy and emotionally stressful week between work and a quick trip, but the overwhelming sleepiness I was experiencing was r.i.d.i.c.u.l.o.u.s!!!

Friday evening, I even passed up spending time with the International Students - a time I usually look forward to.  But truthfully, all I could think about was going home from work to take a nap.  So that's what I did.  I fell asleep around 6:15 and woke up at nearly 9:00pm!  I was awake for a couple hours and by 11:00 I was back in bed and fast asleep.  I even slept in until 9:00am on Saturday!  I finally felt somewhat rested.  Spent the rest of the day running around with CME.  Signed up for a 5k for next weekend, went back to the consignment shop because I needed some pants that fit!  (NSV - bought size 14 jeans.  Don't tell CME, but I think one pair might even be a bit too big...just a little!)  Went from consignment shopping to grocery shopping to a little bit of CHRISTmas shopping.  Then, last night my daughter, son-in-law, and g-baby came over for dinner and board games.  So, my day was FULL.

This morning, thanks to the time change and early sunrise, I was awake by...oh gosh, I don't even know the time, just that it was before I was wanting to be awake! Spent time worshipping God this morning, came home to another close, but good win by the Colts (Go Blue!), finished a few things around the house, fixed dinner and here it is...8 o'clock at night...and I feel like I could go to bed now!  UGH!

Luckily, I do have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday and will get the results of my lab work.  I'm hoping there's some indication in there as to why I'm soooooo sleepy!  Not that I want anything to come back wrong, but if there was a way to know for sure what's going on with my body, that would be awesome.  I was talking with my mother-in-law yesterday and she said something to the effect that if we listen to our bodies, they usually tell us when something's amiss.  I think she's right.  And though I'm still learning to listen to my body, I know this is not normal.  So between the lightheadedness and this latest bout of fatigue, it will be interesting to talk to the doctor this week.  I'm not worried in any shape of the word; I just want to feel 100% one hundred percent of the time!

Regardless of these minor issues, I know that God is in control of my journey and He will guide me through all the little things...as long as I let Him!
________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Brain Game

It's common, or so I'm told.  My brain doesn't see the truth.  I suppose for years I didn't really see how incredibly obese I was.  Now, I struggle to see a difference in the mirror...even in pictures I can't quite grasp the difference.  Yet, I am 100 pounds lighter.  I am wearing mostly large tops as opposed to XXXL and my 16 pants are baggy when I use to wear 28 pants that were tight.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend Missy loaded me up with three bags full of clothes...mostly large tops.  I loved them, but wasn't expecting them to fit.  Most did.  This past weekend, my sweet friend Randee convinced me to try on a shirt that she bought for her.  She's very fit, and I was convinced there was no way it would fit.  I thought it was tight, all the ladies there told me it fit. (I was actually kind of embarrassed by all the attention I got about it!)  Granted, it would have looked much different on her. CME bought me a nice sweater...again, a large...I wasn't sure that it fit well...seemed a bit snug.  I've been told otherwise (by CME and my friend Macie!).  I can wrap a normal size towel around me..  Yet, even when I see the pictures I don't see the drastic change everyone is talking about.  How messed up is that?  

It sounds bad, but I am starting to understand how anorexics see themselves.  They look in a mirror and see fat.  I'm still seeing fat, folks.  Really I am.  I see the same person from this time last year.  Thankfully I have a wonderful support team of friends and family that I know will help me see the reality, even if my brain continues to distort it.  Mary and Randee have already addressed the "that's too thin" issue when I thought I still needed to lose 50#.  CME is incredibly supportive and someone today even said, "You look so different...you look like a little kid now!"  (Not sure exactly what that meant, but ok!)  I'm so thankful that God has placed so many amazing friends in my life!  Add that to my amazing family and I couldn't be more blessed!

So, in order to try to "see" clearly, I'm going to upload some comparison pictures...

January 20 - October 30  Sweater compliments of CME

Where I see the most difference.

Randee's top on a very tired and embarrassed me!

My Colts fleece from Missy and my 12-14 athletic pants.

________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

This NSV is Brought to You by the Letter T

T is for terrific!
T is for totally psyched!
T is for towel!

Yes folks, I'm psyched about a towel!  "Why?" you may ask?  Well, let me tell you!

For as many years as I can remember, I've always used a beach towel when I shower.  It was the only towel that ever fully wrapped around me...and even some of those were a close call.  This weekend, I was out of town without my trusty beach towel.  As I was drying off, I began to wonder...and so I tried it.  I wrapped a REGULAR SIZE towel around me!  Guess what!  THERE. WERE. NO. GAPS!  Nothing exposed to the world!  

Was I excited?  Oh let me tell you how excited I was!  I was so excited that I ran out of the bathroom to find one of the other ladies I was with to share in the excitement (and to have someone witness this NSV!).  Bless Virginia's heart...it's the first time we have been on a trip together and SHE was the lucky recipient of this event!  I must admit that she took it like a champ and was excited for me too!

So thank you, letter T and thank you Towel.  And of course thank you Virginia for your support.  Most of all, thank you God for these NSVs!

________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Milestone of a Century

It's official!  As of this morning, I have lost 100.1 pounds!  I am soooooooooooooooooo excited about that milestone.  I am sooooooooooooo thankful that God provided me with the courage, strength and means to the tool of gastric bypass!

Now off to start my day.  Must find clothes to wear that will accessorize this silly grin that's going to be stuck on my face all day!

________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Responses

Since I posted the Horror Stories entry, I figured I'd post the responses (with their permission) I received from the online forum I visit.  

I just read your blog and let me assure you about a few things. Having the surgery "open" is already more dangerous, than laproscopic, or so I've been told. It depends on the patients starting weight, starting co-morbitites and many other factors. One person's health CANNOT be compared to another. I have a step-daughter, who was just 100lbs overweight. No diabetes, no co-morbitities, just 100lbs overweight. She had the RNY, like myself. She CHOSE NOT to take care of herself. She still to this day, does NOT take any vitamins or follow any of the other rules, we must live by. She has ended up with several complications. Crohn's disease, has had 2 more surgeries to correct bowel problems because of her bodies reaction to NO nutrients.She's a mess and it is her own creation. I'm not saying your friend was in any way at fault for her complications, not at all. The point is, we CANNOT and MUST NOT compare our journey with someone else's. We are all different and so are our bodies reaction to the surgery and the how we take care of ourselves afterward.  I did a lot of praying (still do) for no complications and have God guide me in my journey. To this day, all is still well.  No worries! You'll be fine! I just ignore the nay-sayers and concentrate on my OWN journey.

You'll find that EVERYONE has a horror story about someone who has had this surgery. It's just the way it is. I choose NOT to listen. I am 8 years out. I never did have any complications (knock on wood, no guarantees, even this far out). Even though I've had some "transfer addiction" (different subject entirely) I STILL do NOT regret for one second, that I have had this surgery.   There are dangers with EVERY surgery. A person can go in to get their tonsils taken out and end up with complications!  Sometimes, I wonder if people bring up conversations out of jealousy, fear of having the surgery themselves or some other hidden agenda. I am 8 years out and it was the same way back then. I just ignore it.
Just my two cents! Yes, you can post this on your blog.
Lyn (surgery 6/8/2004)

I still hear horror stories even at this stage of the game....."so and so died", "so and so gained all their weight back", "so and so has been in and out of the hospital dozens of times", etc. etc. etc........
To date I've had 2 episodes of reactive hypoglycemia due to too many carbs in one sitting, but other than that, I have NO ISSUES....no complications at all! I feel great, I'm at a normal BMI, my labs are perfect, and I'm off all my meds except for my vitamins/supplements!
I wish I had done this 20 years ago, but better late than never!

Nancy  (surgery 8/25/2010)

________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

The Teacher Makes a Difference

The past couple of years of middle school were difficult times for my oldest son.  He had a severe case of "minimumeffortitis" going on.  Last year was the worst when his affliction became compounded with a couple of teachers who just didn't seem to be able to properly instruct/guide the students.  Yes, even the "honors" courses can have some sub-par teachers.  (I found out from SEVERAL other parents that my son was not the only one struggling in two particular classes.  Common theme was the lack of instruction/accountability on the teachers' part.) Please do not get me wrong.  Regardless of a teacher's own shortcomings, I expect my children to do their best 100% of the time.  So I'm not blaming his lackadaisical effort on anyone but him.  However, I do know that teachers can make a world of difference for the students.  This year has been much different for my son.  His teachers have been amazing and he is excelling in his classes.  He's bringing home his best report card since entering middle school.  His teachers have made a difference.

Another example of a teachers making a difference was revealed to me last night.  I was spending time with some International students from one of the local universities and I asked how classes were going.  Most said, "ok", but one student was very clear in his response.  He is in the ESLI - Level 1 class. (English as Second Language).  He told me it was very boring.  That the teachers just write what's in the book on the board and then they test on it.  He looked at me and said, "they need to find way to make it (interesting) so students want to come. they need to make learn English fun."  I wondered how many others felt that same way.  University ESLI classes are intense, this I know.  But from the student's perspective, he's bored and not sure he's really learning.  I wonder if those programs can be fun and still get in all the required material so the students can advance to the University classes.  I'm sure somewhere there is a teacher who could make that difference...if only allowed.

So how does that all tie in to this blog and my journey?  Well, my friend Missy posted this entry about her experience of a Body Pump class she attended last week.  Interestingly enough, before I read it I attended a different class with a different instructor.  To be as kind as I possibly can be, I was not thrilled with how the class went.  The instructor spoke a LOT about his recent doctor appointment, his young grandchild learning to speak another language before English, his recent trip to MO where they have the best BBQ ever (same story I heard the week before) among other things.  Personally, I don't need those distractions.  Then, on top of that, he decided to change one of the workout sections because he "didn't like the seven 'bottom halfs' at the end...it was too hard" and he messed up the music and/or the movements a couple of different times.  My thoughts on that were, "I'm sure the Les Mills company knows what they're doing and why they placed the the bottom half squats where they did" along with "I'm not an instructor and I know the new music/movements..."  Plus, there is one lady in particular who just joined about a week ago.  Her form is dangerously bad and is truly asking for a back injury if not corrected.  (rounded back, swinging motion with the bar, etc.) He never mentioned it to her.  Maybe some people need to talk during workout, I am not one of those people.  I just want to do what I need to do.  I left the class a little annoyed.

Today, I went to an 8am Body Pump class.  The instructor was really good.  Even though there were no new people in class, he made sure to demonstrate every combination and stressed form.  Throughout the class, he would remind everyone of where the hands should be placed, where the bar stops, proper posture, not to lean forward during lunges, etc.  He'd watch the class as we went along and would correct the form of anyone he saw that needed help.  There was no idle chit-chat during the class; it was all instruction.  He was a good teacher.  I felt like my workout was better and that overall, the class was better.

And then the thoughts moved on from school and Body Pump to the fact that I am a teacher as well.  My family will learn from me.  For way too many years, they have observed and learned some not-so-good habits.  And if the teacher makes a difference, like I know they do, I am glad that I am changing a lot of how I'm influencing and instructing my children.  I thank God for opening my eyes to so many unhealthy situations and for guiding me through this life.  I pray that as He continues to reveal His ways to me that I can teach my children those same lessons.

Truly, the Teacher makes all the difference!

________________________________________________
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14