Do you ever write (or say) something and go, "wow...I can't believe I actually admitted that." I've just had several of those "wow" moments as I was finishing my homework for my appointment on Tuesday. I guess that's the point of some of this and why part of this program is working with a LCSW. Still..it's hard to put to paper. I wanted to lie on some of it. It did cross my mind. "She won't know if I'm not honest about that." But I would. "You can water this down some so it doesn't seem so extreme." But it is. "If I don't admit it, it didn't happen." Lie.
No matter what I put on paper, the truth would still be the truth.
I wouldn't deal with it if I lied. I remember the words of a friend who said, "I'll support this if you meet with [counselor] too." Meaning: get healthy emotionally and spiritually as well as physically. So I didn't lie. I just didn't like what I had to say.
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14