I'm so excited about the prospect of what 2012 is going to bring that I've been on a quest to find out as much as I can as fast as I can. I've used my stealth (ha!) Google skills to find all sorts of blogs and informational websites about gastric bypass, the surgery itself and after surgery posts. I've probably viewed hundreds of "before and after" pictures of success stories. I read a really good article by a post-op patient and how a lot of people are really excited about someone losing 100+ pounds...until they hear it was through gastric bypass - like it is the "easy" way out or the cheater's way out. I've looked at some good bypass menu websites and was encouraged by what I saw.
I've chatted with a friend who has had the surgery and learned a few interesting details that she said "isn't always discussed" in the meetings. I've talked with my dietitian friend who gave me some wonderful advice (some even non-food related!). I've had lovely emails with encouraging words and truths spoken. I feel like I've been a sponge...jotting down notes, tagging websites to go back to, making mental notes of time frames, etc.
I've revisited some of the paperwork and realized a few things. My parents are both obese (my father would be considered morbidly obese - like me, which is a subject for a whole other post). Both are diabetic. Both have histories of heart attacks, deep vein thrombosis (blood clots), high blood pressure, high cholesterol, as well as other medical conditions that aren't necessarily weight-related. Then, for years I have "bragged" about the fact that my cholesterol is usually around 150; though my BP was high at one time (I blame it on certain life situations such as a bad first marriage, struggles with a rebellious child, etc.) it's now under control and I've been off medicine for almost 4 years; I have no "medical" weight-related conditions with the exception of having really bad knees that I'm sure the excess weight doesn't help, but didn't necessarily cause. But what I've NEVER done until recently is look at the blessing of that fact. My life is blessed - even when I don't realize it.
I feel like God giving me the courage for this surgery is almost like He's saying, "Come on, child! I've got big plans for you. Work with me, here, will ya?!" LoL
All that being said, I'm still looking for more to absorb - but specifically more spiritually. (Feel free to share any scripture or thoughts with me!!) A wise friend of mine reminds me that carrying this weight for so long also brings a lot of bondage. Bondage from the lies that Satan has whispered in my ears for the majority of my life. Bondage from the damage done through hurtful words or actions - whether from loved ones, acquaintances, or complete strangers. Bondage from self-doubt (and sometimes self-loathing). And I know that Jesus is the only true way to gain freedom for that all. Though there will be "counseling" included in the surgery treatment plan, I am also planning on a couple of sessions with a counselor at church. I don't just want to be thin, I want to be healthy - mentally and physically. I want to be freed from what has kept me down and held me back. I want to utilize all the blessings God has given me to pour back out for Him! I want to truly be "fearfully and wonderfully made."
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14