On a different note, I took my bug with me (though I did ask if it was okay to be there and they assured me it was fine) to my appointment at [bariatric center] today.
I spent just over an hour with the LCSW - which was really good. Not that she can share her life story with me, it is WAY obvious that she's a Christian. Not only were there tons of knick knacks around the room with various Scripture on them, but K-Love was playing on the radio when I walked in. May seem silly to some, but I find it comforting.
We got to talk a lot about the Genogram, the self-evaluation and the Top 10 reasons I'm committed to this process. As I've mentioned before, diabetes is prominent in my family, as is heart problems and various addictions. No, I didn't inherit the gambling addiction or alcohol addiction, but it's very obvious that my addiction is food. It's been my "go to" when I'm stressed, lonely, bored, happy and everything in between. Interestingly enough, LCSW has been an addictions (12-step) counselor for years. I talked about the trigger place I identified as well as not really knowing what "small sustainable" changes look like. Below are a couple of things from the homework that stood out to me as we talked through it today:
As you reflect back on your Genogram as a whole, how does your family, work, culture, and spiritual life affect your development? This is a really tough question. I think I am still "developing" after years of being in a stalemate - or plateau. I can see a lot of trends in my family medically. Diabetes, especially, as well as heart disease is rampant. I do think that my spiritual life and trust that that God has given me the courage to get through this is part of my ongoing development.
Identify the negative symbols in your Genogram and write how the negative aspects have affected your life. How are you part of the negative cycle? How will you change history and show how you can effect change in your life. Negatives are pretty easy to see. Obesity/diabetes/heart disease are the obvious negatives, but there is also a pattern of addiction. My addiction of food has been such a negative in my life for YEARS. It's easy to call gambling or alcoholism an addiction, but to say that I'm addicted to food is more difficult - though it is just as detrimental (if not more so) to my health as if I had one of the other addictions in my Genogram. By gaining control of my weight, I will be able to help my children identify and overcome the potential food addictions that have plagued all of my family.The self-evaluation was tougher. It addressed how my eating/weight has affected my relationships with: spouse, children, other family, friends, work, daily routine, education, practicing cultural customs/traditions, participation in organized religion, spirituality, finances, sexual intimacy, sense of well-being. Yeah, these were those, "I can't believe I wrote that" moments. [and way too personal to put here]. All-in-all, though it's difficult to address some of these things, it's been really good too.
I also met with the MD today. I was down 8.7 lbs. I'm sure it's a combination of "not knowing how to do it differently" and the bug the boys shared with me. Next time, I'll be meeting with the RD again and will have more guidelines on those small changes. The MD was nice. I always snicker on the inside when they look at the chart and see that I have no obesity-related issues. BP is good (120/74), no diabetes, etc. My blood work did show that I am Vitamin D deficient and though my B12 levels are within the "normal" range, they're at the low-end of normal. So he is starting me on those vitamins now. He talked a lot about the procedure not being the end all of weight issues. He stressed the education aspect of the surgery and eating patterns, not thinking that this was the only thing I had to do for this journey to be successful. And of course he discussed exercise and alternatives for me because of my knees.
I've got to schedule two additional evaluations. First the exercise evaluation to determine what regimen is best for me. The second is a scope thingy (yeah, I'm a medical terminologist...not!) to go into my stomach to make sure there are no polyps or ulcers that would make the surgery a problem. So that's next on the agenda - get those scheduled.
I left there feeling pretty good at how it went, even if the bug had the best of me. Spent the rest of my afternoon in bed (or bathroom) and ate my first bites of food for the day about an hour ago. Hoping it stays down/in and that I don't share it with anyone else!
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14