A-Weigh We Go

LilySlim Weight loss tickers

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Words Matter

“In the Kingdom of the Son that our Heavenly Father loves, words matter!” 

That was part of a sweet email that I received this morning from one of my dear friends and sister in Christ.   

L knows me well.  She’s been a part of my life for close to 20 years.  She’s been there for me through the good times and bad.  She knows some of the lies and destructive thoughts I’ve believed over the years and she is so keenly aware of God’s love for us, that if something feels “off” about a comment, she is quick to call my attention to it.  So when her email came in this morning, I understood where she was coming from.  Her concern today was about me calling myself a “loser” in yesterday’s post. 

Like I said, she knows me and she knows that I am a “play on words” girl.  I find it funny to be able to do that.  However, even calling myself a loser in a joking way doesn’t ease the negativity associated with that word and definitely doesn’t reflect how our LOVING FATHER sees me (or you!).  As L reminded me, “lies are insidious and subtle…our enemy is crafty and cunning and treacherous…AND DEFEATED!!!”  So I began to think about her words and realized that she is right.  So from now on, I’m not going to say (or believe) that I’m a loser.  Instead, I’m a gainer and a winner!  I’ve gained (and continue to gain) a healthier lifestyle and a healthier mind-set.  I’ve gained a greater understanding of what I want to teach my family about being “healthy” – physically, emotionally and spiritually.  But most importantly, I’ve gained a clearer picture of how my Creator sees me.  I am His and I am fearfully and wonderfully made!   

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Monday, July 30, 2012


I truly feel as if NSV (Non Scale Victories) are God's gentle reminders to me that He is in control. Though I still feel as if I'm a slow loser compared to others, I continue to experience NSVs that help keep me grounded and focused on His work (not mine)! A few of those victories included: that wide-eyed amazement on my son's face when he got his arms around me; starting (and finishing) 5k events; the fact that CME can pick me up when he hugs me (oh how I've longed for that day!!!); crossing my legs like a lady as opposed to the "manly" crossing of ankle on knee; the fact I can actually reach my toenails to paint them (though I still wouldn't mind a pedicure every now and again); the ability to wear smaller clothes than I've worn since high school...and the list goes on.

Today though, I literally thanked God for this NSV. A former co-worker had RNY a month after I did, but at a facility out of town Today was her first day back to work due to major complications and the onset of a bleeding ulcer already. In her 2 months since surgery, she has lost more weight than I have in almost three...but a lot if it came with a price. I'm trusting God to help me through this process and fully recognize that this NSV is a blessing from Him!

Still a loser...and okay with that!!!!

Saturday, July 28, 2012


A long time ago in a land far away... oh wait, that's a different story.  

Anyway, about 3 years ago during one of my attempts to lose weight I joined a Body Pump class as the YMCA.  I remembered that the mornings I'd go that my arms would be shaking and by that afternoon picking up a pencil felt like an accomplishment.  My new co-worker is a natural athlete who played a lot of sports through HS and college and is currently training for a local triathlon. So when I heard that she goes to a lunch time Body Pump class twice a week, I thought it was the perfect way to help me get into some sort of an exercise routine.  

On Thursday, I went with co-worker and was really excited even though I couldn't do the planks at the end of the class.  Back at work, I laughed as I walked - trying to control the jello that was doing it's best to support me.  Oh. my. gosh!!!  My legs hadn't worked that hard in years!  

By Friday, [possible TMI moment] the simple task of sitting down to use the restroom was excruciating!  I definitely didn't remember this aftereffect of the class.  I definitely didn't realize how much we use our thigh muscles to sit and  stand.  O.U.C.H!!!  My arms?  They're tender, but not sore.  Now, I do know that different circuits of the class work different body parts.  I'm not discouraged and I do plan on going back, but wow!  I can't take ibuprofen, so Icy Hot is my new best friend.  I need to keep moving today...to work out some of the soreness.  But I'm first waiting for the Icy Hot to settle in before I shower and get out for the morning.

Even in the pain, I'm thankful.  Thankful that God has truly given me the strength and desire to get healthy.  I know that the pain is temporary and that the long-term benefits will beyond my wildest dreams!

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

The Proof is in the Pictures

Yesterday convo:
CME:  "Wow.  I don't think you've ever looked so thin."
Me:  "I've never been this thin since you've known me!"

So tonight, CME suggested some updated pictures.  I'll admit...it's kind of fun.  CME makes me get a little embarrassed, but not feeling like I need to hide from the camera is nice.  Plus...I still don't see it in the mirror all the time; rather I didn't really see the "before" me in the mirror...

So here ya go...

Different clothes make a difference too...middle and right pictures from tonight (7/24/12)

Again, where I see the biggest difference!

Enough Already!

I'm done now!

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Monday, July 23, 2012

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

As much as I love where I was last week, it's always good to be home.  CME left me a sweet message on my last blog entry (you should read it if you haven't) letting me know that the changes I'm making really do influence the whole family.  That's one of the goals of this journey for me...to get our entire family healthy and for our family to make good, healthy choices.

Things I realized during my trip (in no particular order):

  • It's hard to stay on a schedule when your schedule is not your own.
  • I can still enjoy [ethnic] foods without the "I'm so stuffed" after effect!  Over the week, I was able to sample Lebanese, Chinese/Japanese, Italian, Mexican and Yemeni foods.  I didn't always have my measuring cups with me, but when I did it sure was easier to know how much to eat!  I think that I have a tendency to under-eat if I don't completely measure it out.
  • I can have an iced caffe Americano with one half and half and 2 sweet n low and not have any side effects.
  • My body shuts down on its own when it needs sleep - time of day does not matter.
  • I can celebrate non-scale victories (NSV) like being on the go from 6am - midnight without having to sit down because my back or my knees or my ankles hurting.  
  • I have a wonderful support team at bariatric center.  I called one afternoon to verify if the gift of baklava I was given would cause me problems.  (I knew it would, but secretly was hoping otherwise.)  RD called me back and confirmed my suspicion.  Bummer on the baklava.  YAY for a great RD who doesn't mind silly phone calls!
  • I have a GREAT support team of friends who were constantly reminding me to drink my water.
  • Waking up with leg cramps 3 of the six nights is no fun.
  • Not seeing some friends since I started on this journey was kind of fun!  Their reactions to the weight loss so far was sometimes embarrassing because I still don't really see it in my brain, but for the most part it was a good mood booster!
  • I can't eat a protein bar for breakfast.
  • They really do make sugar free baklava, but it's more expensive and a small bite is not worth the cost or the worry.
  • I can fix a fruit protein smoothie and enjoy it when others are eating their ice cream sundaes.
  • The trip was good for me weight loss wise... 7.5 pounds in one week.  I wonder if my body was celebrating the new foods!  LoL  (67.6# since January - 42.6# since surgery)
  • I have a great set of friends in another state!
  • I have an amazing band of prayer warriors that not only were praying for me during this trip, but that lift me in prayers on a daily basis as I continue down this path.  I thank God for them (you) every day!!!
So yes, I'm back home and am in the process of getting back into a routine.  Next up is to increase the exercise (which I've been lacking, to be honest).  I'm looking at a couple other 5K races soon...just wish they weren't so darn expensive!  Regardless, there are other things I will begin this week to get a routine for exercise going.  Please pray for me in that regard - I've NEVER liked exercise and just because I'm losing weight doesn't mean my mindset has changed regarding it (yet).  I just know that it is necessary for my (our family) long-term success and health!
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Friday, July 13, 2012

I'm Not Here Right Now...

I know I've not been faithful about blogging as often now...but I didn't want anyone to think I stopped!  Sooooo...I'm just letting you know that I will be away from blogging for at least a week.  I'll be back, and I'm sure that I'll have plenty to say!  I'm going to be visiting some of my international friends that I blogged about during this post:  International Dilemma.

I've not seen them since this journey started... it should be a LOT of fun!  I'll let you know how it all goes once I get back.

Until then...

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Project Done!

Those hangers are the result of a projected that I finished tonight - one that I started in March.  I have officially taken the "too big" clothes out of my closet and drawers.  I saved a few "memento" type things like my Colts Superbowl Champions hoodie and some t-shirts and sweatshirts from 911 Gives Hope along with my parent shirts for the boys' Cub Scout pack.  Those are all things that can be worn big anyway.  I do still have a few pair of pants that are loose, but right now, I need them for work.  The majority of the stuff, however, is gone!  

I didn't realize how difficult it would be to get rid of some of my "favorite" shirts.  I would take them out of the closet and then put them back...take them out...put them back.  I ended up taking them out and walking them into another part of the house so I wouldn't put them back.  It was funny to see CME's face when I said that I was getting rid of those shirts.  I think his comment (accompanied by a cheesy sad face) was something like, "Some of those are really nice shirts."  Probably because he picked them out!  He actually does a better job of picking clothes that fit me and look good...so some of these he had put a lot of thought into!  Regardless, they're out of the closet too!!!

The purging produced one Rubbermaid bin, 2 laundry baskets and 2 bags worth of clothes - plus a full bag of "trash" for things like under garments and things that were stained or in really bad condition.  (Why did I hold onto those anyway?!?!)  

Going through this process is filled with mixed emotions - as odd as that sounds.  I'm elated that so much is now too big!  I'm also a bit embarrassed that I had that much stuff hanging around my closet when there are so many that have nothing.  And yet, it is a reminder of the blessings that God has bestowed on our family.  I am thankful for how He continues to work in me during this journey...opening my eyes to so many things that I never even thought of before.
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Saturday, July 7, 2012

My Saturday

I got to sleep in today!  I didn't get out of bed until almost 9:30!!  I think that's the first time in...well, I don't remember how long it's been!  The extra sleep was nice - though it kind of threw my eating schedule off.  It's 5:30 pm and I've not officially had "lunch" yet - though I did have a great fruit protein shake that had 33g of protein.  I may count that as lunch...we'll see how the rest of the night goes.  I have gotten in my fluids!  It's been WAY too hot not to drink.  So at least I've got that going.

I left my house around 11:00 am to try to find some clothes at the resale shops.  I really don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes that I won't be able to wear long, but it has come down to the fact that I need some clothes for a trip I'm going on in a week combined with the need for some things I can wear to work that aren't totally hanging.  I had read a good entry on Paige's blog that she titled Clothes in Stages.  She gave a lot of great advice about shopping for clothes and how we will gravitate toward the wrong (too big) sizes.  She even suggested taking a friend to help you realize what truly fit versus what fit because it was too big!  Though I had read it...I didn't heed her warnings!  Seriously, next time I will ask someone to go with me!

Five hours later, I had hit 4 resale shops, Fashion Bug, TJ Maxx, Target, Kohl's, Wal-Mart and Gordman's.  Let me state, for the record, I. do. not. like. to. shop!  But sometimes we have to do what we have to do!  At the end of of the day, I bought 2 skirts, 2 pair of capris, 3 shirts, 2 pair of shoes and a necklace - for about $50.  The resale shops won out...even though one of them was a bit more expensive than the other.  I almost broke down and got two shirts at Gordman's but I wasn't totally comfortable with them and at $12.99/ea I just couldn't do it.  There is one shirt at Fashion Bug that I *may* go back and buy.  Maybe.  -shrug-

Now it's time to remove all the too big clothes for good!  It feels odd (in a good way) to wear clothes that fit.  I guess I've gotten use to baggy.

In other news, the Big Bang 5k results got posted.  First race was 1:01.23, this one was 56:31.  I'll take it!  Also, we found out that our youngest son actually got the 10th place of the male walkers which means he gets a trophy too!  I emailed the president of the sponsoring club to see how we can go about getting it.  He's happy that he gets a trophy too!

So there's my Saturday re-cap.  Oh...and I didn't weigh.  (Sorry CME)  Maybe tomorrow.  ;-)
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Eight Weeks Post-Op

Yesterday (7/4/12) I was officially 8-weeks post-op.  I’ve still avoided the scale so I don’t know the total weight loss.  (I *may* weigh on Saturday…)  But here’s what I do know...

My husband’s aunt gave me two bags full of clothes.  Over the past several years, she’s under grown them.  (Way to go, Debbie!)  I didn’t look at the clothes until I got home from visiting the family in MI.  And I’ll be honest, I thought the stuff was nice, but I was a bit disheartened looking at the sizes.  XL tops and 18 (or 16) pants.  I seriously couldn’t remember when I last fit into those sizes.  Regardless, by CME’s prompting, I tried on the clothes.  Guess what!  MOST of it fit!  Maybe a little snug, but I could get them on!  I know not all size 18s (or 20s or 10s or XLs) are created equal – but I can wear the XL tops the 18 pants!  HUGE difference in the 24/26 (or 28s at my largest) that I was wearing just 6 months ago!  I’m excited…can you tell?  Who needs a scale right now?  

Then yesterday, our July 4th started rather early.  By 7:00am my boys, oldest daughter, g-baby and I were at the starting line for the Big Bang 5K.  Yes, two 5K events in 2 weeks!  My main goal for this one was to beat my time from my first 5K on 6/23.  Though I don’t have the official results yet, I know that I shaved somewhere around 4 minutes off my first race time!  It may not seem like much, but for me, it’s huge!

But what’s even more important to me is that my kids did this too!  My daughter, who is just 6 weeks out from a c-section, braved the ridiculous heat and humidity to walk this with me.  With my g-baby in tow she hit the course with the intention of finishing and doing the best she could do.  That’s exactly what she did!  I’m pretty sure that g-baby was the youngest participant…I think she should have gotten some award for that!

My boys… oh how they made my day!  One thing that I want to instill in them is how important it is to get healthy and make good healthy choices.  They’ve had a really busy summer already – everything from Boy Scout camp to church camp and then on a mission trip.  They have been physically active all summer!  So adding a 5K to their schedule didn’t seem to bother them in the least.  My oldest wound up in 8th place for the male walkers without even really exerting himself.  My youngest was a sweetheart and stayed back with me and my daughter.  He was great at making sure to bring me my water (which g-baby was safely guarding in her ride) when I needed it or helping his sister with the stroller on the grassy hills and gravel areas.  No, he didn’t place nor did he have a great finish time.  But what I explained to all of them is that starting the race is a victory over sitting at home.  Walking slowly is a victory over not walking at all.  Finishing the race is a victory over quitting.
I am so proud of my kiddos!!! 

As I reflect back on the past 8 weeks, one thing keeps coming to my mind: gratitude.  It’s the gratitude I have for those who have been my encouragement…those who have listened to me whine and complain about not losing weight fast enough…those who have shared advice and wisdom with me.  And of course there is the gratitude I have to my Creator.  To the One who has given me the strength and courage to face this battle head-on.  To the One who reminds me that no matter what lies the world has told me in the past that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! 

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14