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Thursday, May 9, 2013

The Hardest Thing I've Done

It's 11:30 at night.  Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the date of my gastric bypass surgery.  My one year follow-up appointment at bariatric center is at 1:00pm tomorrow.  Tonight...tonight I am doing the hardest thing I've done during this whole process.

In February 2012, I posted an entry about Transparency.  It's when I first posted my "before" pictures for the world to see.  I thought that was hard.  And it was at the time.  But what I'm doing tonight is even harder.

Last week I posted about the vanity issues that I need to work on... the extra skin, the veins, etc.  So in an attempt to truly be transparent and let God work on the part of my heart (and brain) that hurts when I see images in the mirror...I'm posting my One Year Post-Op Extra Skin pictures.

Now, being as I know not everyone will want to see these, I'm giving you the option to click on a link to take you to a Picasa album where there are multiple pictures posted.  If you don't want to go to the link, I will not be offended!  (This is your TMI warning of the night!)  Click here: 1 Year Post Op - Extra Skin

Before you go there, the first picture below is me just about a week and a half ago.  The second picture is a close-up of the extra skin on my inner thighs. I thank God for clothes!  

Another consignment shop outfit...less than $10 total!

Sneak Peek Close Up

I pray that God will fully free me from the angst I feel when I see these pictures and the images in the mirror!  He is my source of peace and freedom...I need to be willing to let Him completely set me free from the negative emotions.  

PS - Expect more (clothed) pictures tomorrow...after all, it's my one year surgiversary!!!
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks sister! It runs in the family! -hugs-

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you, Kim! To God be the glory!

  3. I've been overwhelmed by texts, emails and comments from both this site and the forum I frequent. Thank you all so very much. It was not easy to post those..it was very difficult, actually. But for way too many years, I've kept stuff hidden and in doing that, I've not been able to emotionally heal. Lies (or secrets) are great tools for Satan to use...and he has done so for many many years in my life. And I was really starting to believe some of his lies again...that I was not worthy, that I was still unattractive...I mean, c'mon! Look at that skin! Buying swim attire for my upcoming trip to Turkey left me wanting to crawl under the covers and stay for days! So to help me deal with that part of emotional healing, I had to go public. It puts it out there where it's no longer a secret and has to be addressed. That is how God works in my life. The outpouring of love and support shown through the past year has been amazing and the responses to this post (and on the forum too) are no different. I am not brave or strong...as a matter of fact, I am very weak. But through that weakness, God can shine as only He can! He is my strength and has been through this whole process.

    Thank you all again for the encouragement and sweet words... it means so much!!!!

    1. You are so worthy!!! You are a beautiful person and God grant you grace and happiness. The skin is there but you now have a better and healthier life.

    2. Thank you so much! There is happiness, for sure! Daily I am gaining the peace of mind that I need. He is so faithful! And yes, I do have a MUCH better and healthier life. How can that not be celebrated?!

  4. Thank you for coming to dailystrength.org and posting!! I was so happy to see you there!! I am inspired by your success and personal courage... to the depths of my soul :) Becca~

    1. Thanks Becca! My courage comes from the Lord, because I'm a big chicken on my own! I appreciate you and the kind words. -hugs-

  5. I am 10 months out and I pretty much look the same...it makes me laugh, actually! I look like a raisin, but I have always liked raisins. And I am so thankful that I can move, breathe easily, fit in an airplane seat...stuff that is just "normal" to most people. I think if I were a lot younger I might be more disturbed by it but no one really cares what I look like naked anyway, not even my hubby. These are my battle scars! I fought the battle with the best tools I could find and with God's help I am winning. If I want to swim I will buy a pair of those knee-length swim shorts and a tank top and just do it. I treasure having a body that gets me where I want to go without pain or exhaustion, so wrinkley extra skin is a small price to pay.

    1. I've slowly been able to laugh at my pictures. There's one...front view of my stomach that soooooo looks like an old man's face (in a tree)! Made me laugh.

      As far as a swim suit...well, I opted for men's board shorts and a tankini top. I'm satisfied with that selection. And you're right, the extra skin is a small price to pay!