God Works Differently in Everyone's Life

I’ve spent the majority of my life being judged; if not by others, then by my own thoughts and perceptions.  I recently read something that made me realize that there is still a huge misconception and judgmental attitude about weight loss surgery.  One of the reasons that I started this blog was to help others overcome some of that mindset.  Has it worked?  Maybe.  Do I think more can be done?  Absolutely.

So let me see if I can put into words what I feel needs to be said. 

First let me address those of us who have had weight loss surgery or are researching the idea.  Kudos! Hold your head high.  More than likely, you have not gone into this without a lot of thought and consideration and hopefully a lot of prayer.  Those outside looking in at WLS patients truly may not understand the circumstances which have led you to this decision or the WLS process involved.  Show them grace - even if it stings to read/hear their opinion!  Focus on you and you journey and be proud that you are taking steps necessary to overcome your food addiction and embrace a healthy lifestyle.  Focus on God and what He has in store for your life.  Follow the plans – both your bariatric center’s plan and God’s plan.  Make this journey a healthy journey.  Grow deeper emotionally to be able to make the changes that are necessary for long term success.  You deserve it!

On to those who have lost weight without having weight loss surgery (or have never struggled with your weight to begin with)… Kudos!  Congratulations on your success!  I honestly celebrate your success with you!  Here’s where this may get a little close to stepping on toes, but I hope you’ll hear me out on this topic.  Your journey is your journey.  Please do not assume that people who have chosen to have weight loss surgery have found a gimmick or easy way out or that we can’t enjoy the same personal satisfaction or joy because we chose to have surgery.  Joy comes from the Lord – not through weight loss, regardless of how each of us loses the extra pounds!  Please educate yourself before you make assumptions.  There is nothing easy about weight loss surgery.  It is a tool that some decide to use to get healthy.  Please do not judge another’s journey to better health.  Instead, celebrate with them (us) their desire and hard work for a healthier life. 

For both groups of people – find ways to be an encouragement.  Use kind and uplifting words.  Don’t judge others’ choices.  Be an advocate of seeing ourselves as our God sees us – fearfully and wonderfully made!  Rejoice in the strength the Lord has given you to even take the first step.

To my family and friends:  I could not be more blessed!  The unending love and support that you have shown me throughout this process does not go unnoticed.  Your words of encouragement, hugs, and love make me realize that God does a much better job of selecting my friends than I do!  LOL  (no, really!)  He has placed a remarkable network of people in my life and I am forever grateful.

And a special note to CME.  You continue to bless my every day.  You have been my support line here on earth.  You have encouraged me even when I’ve felt like I wasn’t progressing as I should.  You have helped me see some things in a proper and healthy perspective.  You have helped clothe me…both financially and because your taste in style is much better than mine! LoL  You make me smile and you make me laugh.  Thank you.  I cannot imagine this journey without you in it!  143!

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

I Can't Relate but I Can Connect

Last night was support group night at bariatric center.  Each month there's a topic for discussion and last night's topic was "The Five Stages of Mourning."  Although I've read various posts on forums/blogs about mourning the loss of food, I can't actually say that I've experienced those emotions.  To be honest, I had a hard time relating last night.  And when I've read things like, "I'm so sad I can't have [whatever food here]" or "I wish I had never had surgery because I can't have..." I really do not understand.  

Pre-surgery, I do remember thinking that I'd never eat certain foods again.  I specifically remember leaving my informational meeting and going to dinner with CME at Kanpai and having a very emotional evening with thoughts like, "I'll never be able to eat sushi again!"  But at that point, I was still scared and had not turned this over to God.  As many of you know, I still enjoy eating.  I enjoy eating a variety of foods.  I enjoy eating healthy foods and healthy quantities.  Will there be foods I may never eat again?  Possibly, but that will be by choice.  ("I Don't" vs. "I Can't") Regardless, I'm not mourning.

But here's the bonus about a support group.  Even if you can't relate to one of the topics, there are other people in the room who are feeling the same way you are feeling.  See, every journey is different.  You may not be at the same spot as everyone, but there are so many things you have in common with others who have gone through weight loss surgery that there is still a connection.  Maybe not a connection to the topic, but a connection to the people. 

I'm thankful I chose the bariatric center that I did.  I do believe they have a wonderful program and support staff and even though I didn't relate last night, the topic was needed and the materials were good.  I'm positive that at least one person last night benefited from the information and were made to feel as if they weren't alone!
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Curiosity

So my brain got the best of me this morning and I was curious to see what the scales had to say today. Guess what! The scales showed me at the same weight that I was before I weighed yesterday. Exactly. 2.2# less than yesterday. But here's what's weird. The weight from yesterday didn't save on my Wii profile. Erased. Gone. Actually it's as if it never existed in the first place! That has never happened before and I was so excited. Let me explain why this tidbit is so important to me.

This missing data on the Wii, reminded me that this journey really is about Jesus. As I stand before our Holy God, Jesus will be my advocate and it will be as if every sin and every transgression of mine never existed. Jesus has already paid the price for my many many failures. He has already wiped away my sins through the blood He shed on the cross. People! That is a glorious and magnificent thing!!

Every little part of this journey is revealing more and more to me and drawing me even closer to my Savior. I'm so thankful for these little insights God gives me. The transformation that He is doing on the inside far outshines what He's doing for me on the outside. The weight loss is great, but the way He has opened my eyes and continues to reveal Himself to me is beyond words!!

Scales Don't Define Me

I weigh myself a lot less frequently than I did right after surgery.  Today is a good example why.  I gained 2.2# this week!  I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I was a little freaked out and a whole lot of frustrated!  How in the world does a person gain 2.2# this soon after surgery?  I mean, isn’t my body still in the malabsorption stage? The quantity of food I eat is still relatively small.  What on earth did I do to GAIN 2.2# this week?  Then I realized that I couldn’t even go back and look at my food journal to determine where I went amiss…because I haven’t consistently logged my food the last couple of months.  Sure, I’d log here and there...mainly to figure out how much protein I was getting if I thought I was low...but to put every bite of food/drink that went into my mouth into the log?  Nope, didn’t do it.

So this morning, after the scales made me mad (because obviously it was their fault!), I realized that I am still holding on to some old habits.  Habits that I must change.  I do know that weight fluctuates.  I do know that I could weigh tomorrow and “possibly” have lost the same amount of weight (especially considering the numerous trips to the restroom today) – though I’m doubtful of that.  Know what I else I know?  I know that this gain is not a defeat.  I know that I must make the permanent changes to have a permanent result.  This is not the easy way out.  This is work.  This is hard.  

I know that I am not to take this gift from my Creator for granted! Most importantly, I know that the scale does not define me.  God defines me and I am a work in progress.  I am continually growing and learning and embracing my role as His child…as His daughter. Those are the truths that I cling to.  Those are the truths that define me and that pave the way of this journey.

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Coconut Tilapia

I've mentioned my love of shrimp...and coconut...and PB2.  I found this recipe that I adapted to use my PB2 and yum-o!  It's not shrimp, but seafood in general seems to call my name any more.  I don't want my blog to turn in to a cookbook, but gosh darn it, I'm excited that there are tasty things I can eat that are nutritious!  The family enjoyed it too - which again is just icing on the cake (should I even use that expression?!).  

Ingredients:
6-8 tilapia fillets

Dipping Mixture:
1 egg
1/4 cup water
1/3 cup cornstarch

Coconut Coating:
2 cups coconut flakes
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika

Peanut Sauce (this is the modified version using PB2)
2 tablespoons PB2 (reconstituted with water)
3 tablespoons curry sauce
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/4 teaspoon lime juice
1/4 teaspoon red chili pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon soy sauce
1 pinch ginger
1 pinch sage
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar Splenda

Directions:

1. Coat baking dish with either cooking spray or coconut oil so the fish doesn't stick to the dish.  (I used coconut oil)
2. In a wide bowl/container, mix coconut flakes, curry powder, garlic powder and paprika (set aside)
3. In a small bowl, mix egg, water and corn starch
4. Dip the tilapia fillets in the egg mixture.
5. Coat the fillets thoroughly with the coconut flake mixture - especially along the top.
6. Once all fillets are in place, spread remaining coconut flakes on top and then drizzle any remaining egg mixture over the fillets.
7. Bake the tilapia fillets at 350 degrees for 12-14 minutes (until the fish is fully white and flaky)
8. While tilapia is baking, make the peanut sauce.  Mix all of the ingredients listed above.  Vary ingredient amounts based on your tastes. 
9. Once fillets are ready, broil them just a few minutes until the coconut turns golden.
10. Serve the fillets on a plate with the peanut sauce on the side.  (We put ours directly on the fish!)

I didn't take a picture of our dinner, but the one below is pretty much how it looked.  Anyway, I'm finding it fun (gasp!) to cook anymore.  That alone is a NSV!  LoL

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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Weird

Dinner tonight consisted of stir fry pork chops with broccoli and pineapple.  It went down fine, though I think the past two nights I've eaten way too fast.  I have got to do a better job of slowing down.  Part of it is that the guys eat soooooooooooo fast, then I find myself eating fast too.  I have to do better!

But here's what's weird.  About 30 minutes or so AFTER we were done eating, I got this icky discomfort in my esophagus.  It felt like it has when I've inhaled my food and the foamies hit.  I didn't experience the foamies, necessarily, though I did have extra saliva and my nose was running more than normal...which is saying alot (and a topic for a different post).  CME thought maybe it was an effect of the broccoli.  Broccoli tends to make people gaseous anyway, so that makes sense, I suppose.  We were out shopping when I experienced this, so we picked up some Gas-X, but that didn't really help much.  Now, here it is over 3 hours later and I still feel like there's a big bubble or something stuck in my esophagus.  I'm drinking a cup of decaf coffee at the moment and the warm liquid seems to be helping a little, but it's still. just. there.  

Weird.
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

Saturday NSV

It's been a very long day.  I forgot how tiresome it is to help friends move.  Our day started by me fixing a pretty tasty breakfast for the family (if I do say so myself) of miniature baked egg omelets.  I didn't take a picture, but CME said it was definitely picture worthy.  Super simple using a sprayed muffin pan, thin-sliced deli ham used like pan liners, onions, tomato and cheese, then egg beaters and a dash of coarse black pepper and sea salt.  Baked them at 400 for 25 minutes, served with a side of banana and voila!  Yummy!!

CME, the boys and I arrived at my friend's house a little before 10am. and wow was there a lot to be done. I am so proud of how the boys kept moving and worked really REALLY hard today.  Lifting, carrying, helping.  Whatever it was they needed to do, they did it.  My NSV came in to play when I realized that I went up and down the basement steps repeatedly (no clue how many times, but would say at least a couple dozen is not an exaggeration between the two homes) with no pain in my knees and no huffing and puffing!  I know it doesn't count necessarily as "exercise" but yeah...I claim the victory of the moment!  I was carrying boxes that some of the other women deemed too heavy for them.  Though they were worried that they were too heavy for me, truly it was a non issue.  This same time last year, I could have never been the help that my friend needed!  This is another way God is using this journey - to help me be healthy so that I can help others!  We had to leave at 3pm to get the boys off to a Scout event even though the move wasn't completed yet - it really has been a long day!

To top it off, our youngest son was wearing a pair of jeans that we bought him last summer.  I had to repeatedly remind him to pull them up because I could nearly see his (underwear covered) butt cheeks!  It's another NSV of sorts for me...that our whole family seems to be getting healthier!  Win/win!!

Now off to other friends' for a Saladmaster dinner show.  I know CME is tired and sore.  I so appreciate him and his willingness to help friends...no matter what the event!
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14