In less than a month, I will be celebrating my one year "surgiversary". Like the rest of life, it seems like it was forever ago and yet it also seems like it was just yesterday. As I get closer to that date, my brain sometimes wonders what the next year will bring for me. There are still inklings of doubt that creep into my mind. Those "you're going to just gain it back" lies that Satan tries to tell me. But I know that through God's power, He will provide me the strength and tools to defeat that lie as well!
A realization came to me this week. One that clearly should have been here sooner: Every outcome is a direct result of the choices I make. This hit me as I was trying to decide what to eat for my afternoon snack. (Still eating every 2-3 hours) My choices were a protein bar or greek yogurt. Each was less than 10g sugar; each had 10g of protein. But here was the number that was my deciding factor. The protein bar had 170 calories; the greek yogurt had 100. Though I really thought the crunchiness of the protein bar was appealing, I decided on the yogurt. It was a choice that I felt needed to be made. The yogurt satisfied me just as well as the protein bar would have and I "saved" my body from 70 extra calories. Does that mean that I'll never have a protein bar again? Absolutely not. It means that I must continue to make conscious decisions on what I put in my body. Gastric bypass surgery is a tool. It is not the cure-all, fix-all, for my food addiction.
Little habits have a way of sneaking back into our lives. Things for me like, licking the spoon when finishing a recipe (yes, those calories count!!!) or going back for the crusted cheese that semi-burnt on the side of the pan. What's one little bite, right? For a food addict, one little bite is as dangerous as one little sip of alcohol is to an alcoholic; as one "hit" is to a drug addict; as one trip to the casino is to the person addicted to gambling. Every single day, I must make the choice to not bow to the food god that wants to control me. Instead, I must focus my eyes on the One True God that has Created me. Every. Single. Day.
I saw this saying and thought it was worth remembering. "My stomach is not a garbage can." I refuse to treat it that way any longer!
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14