"You might want to consider
that you boarded the emotional roller coaster when you got your insurance
letter."
Those were the words of CME today. I didn't take that comment
very well. Heck, I've not taken a few comments very well the past couple
of days. I do not believe that my feelings on a couple of the topics are
100% related to the insurance letter, but I do admit my emotions are all over
the place. I even broke down in tears today at work. At work of all places! Long story, but I
messed up a notification that had to be sent to our clients. I sent it
all right. To roughly 1,000 retailers that shouldn't have received
it. I don't like making mistakes. I take a lot of pride in my work
and my job performance. When I mess up, I take it personally. Today
was no exception. Normally though, I don't cry in a situation like that.
It doesn't really make sense to me that I cried over an error that
can (and is
in the process of being) be
fixed. My boss wasn't upset with me. Just got the, "Figure out how to fix it and
do it. It's okay." And it certainly doesn't make any sense
to me that I'd be upset about getting the letter from the insurance company
approving something that I've been wanting and waiting for - for what seems
like forever. I'm super-excited! I even called bariatric center first
thing this morning to make sure they had received the certification from the
insurance company. They received it...I meet with the surgeon on
Monday, 4/9, and will get a surgery date set! I'm stoked!
So why are my emotions all out of sorts? Maybe it's because
we have a dog that's sick and needs tests that could run us in excess of $700.
Maybe it's because the A/C isn't working in my car and it's been near 90
the past two days (WAY too
early for that kind of heat!) and the
added expense of getting that fixed is going to bite. Maybe it's because
I see that the boys need spring clothes and I've not yet bought them any,
uncertain of what lies ahead with the dog/car/surgery expenses. Maybe
it's because I see CME working a lot to try to help us get ahead only for all
of the above to happen at once. I don't know why my emotions are
running amok - but they are. I really don't believe it has to do
with my surgery - but I suppose the excitement (because that's an emotion too) could play into it.
Regardless, I need to keep them in check - even when I feel I'm
right. I need to take the Apostle James' advice and be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19) Then, maybe as I
ride this roller coaster it will have some sense of fun...like being a little
kid again...throwing my hands in the air and screaming with joy as the coaster
plummets downward; taking a breather as I ascend a new height...quickly
followed by twists and jerks and dips and plunges.
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"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14
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