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Thursday, May 24, 2012

I'm Tired

I think that's the best way to describe me right now.  Tired.  I have absolutely loved being at the hospital with my daughter, son-in-law and gbaby, but I think the long days/nights have finally caught up with me.  I even took about a two hour nap today and am still tired this evening.  I'm hoping this changes soon.  

Since starting the pureed phase, I've been able to have more variety and more flavorful things.  Tuesday night I had some tilapia, Wednesday I pureed some canned chicken with a little bit of light ranch dressing, garlic powder and pepper along side some laughing cow creamy swiss.  Maybe not the most appealing to look at, but good nonetheless.  Made pasta e fagioli soup for the family and pureed 3 oz for me (though I didn't know how to figure out the protein for that).    It was nice to be able to eat the food the family was eating.  Tonight I mixed 1/4 c. cottage cheese with 1 T marinara and heated it up.  Added a dash of parmesan cheese and had my own noodle-less cheese lasagna.  (Okay, not exactly but the taste was really good - and again the variety was nice.) 

I know this is a psychological issue, but there is a little bit of fear that now that I'm adding a variety (and another ounce of food per meal) that I won't lose weight.  While I know this is not the case, the thought is still there some times and it makes me get a bit teary-eyed if I think about it.  I'm guessing the years of failure are still lurking in the shadows.  The good thing is that I know God never fails and that if I will fully turn it over to Him, the fear of failure will be gone.  That's my goal - to turn it over and not take it back.

So that's where I am at the moment...tired and a bit apprehensive.  Praying some sleep will give me the much needed energy for tomorrow - hoping I can get to the Y to get in some exercise.  Exercise is needed, not only to be successful in this journey but for energy as well.

Pureed chicken / laughing cow cheese

 Pureed pasta e fagioli soup

 Cottage cheese + marinara

And since it's my blog and I can post about anything I want... this is me (Gigi) and my gbaby!  Isn't she precious???

Bella saying, "Hello world!"  (less than 48 hours old)

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14

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