It was one week yesterday that the surgical portion of this journey started! One week down! WooHoo!!
Thank you to CME, family and my friends who have weighed-in (I'm not sure I like that term anymore! ha!) on my last post. The common theme was, "take it slow and take the time YOU need to heal." And "Ummm...you do realize you had major surgery where they basically rearranged your guts, don't you?"
I did get to talk with my boss yesterday (who has been fantastic throughout this process as well as the whole down-sizing thing) and he even said to do what I need to do that work is minor compared to health. I'm going to miss having him as a boss!!!!!!! I'm still not sure that the full 6-weeks will be needed, but I feel a little more at ease knowing that it's an option.
Slow moving was the theme all day yesterday. Took a nap even. Though it wasn't a long nap, it still felt good to be able to rest when I needed it. Oldest son had a lead role in the church middle-school play last night. It was so good to get out and to see so many of my friends that I missed on Sunday! I'm a hugger by nature and as part of my own self-prescribed therapy, hugs are a must! I am so blessed to have these people in my life. I love how God puts people in your life that you probably wouldn't have met otherwise. (Son did awesome, btw.) From the play we went to the boys' Court of Honor for Scouts, and then a real quick trip to Target to get a swimsuit for oldest's trip to Holiday World on Saturday. By the end of the night, I was spent. I didn't feel bad - just really tired.
As each day progresses, I'm finding new combinations of foods that are working well for me. Not having to consume all sweets is good. It's odd for me to say that because as a category, sweets is one of my many weakness. I've also found some things that I don't care for...like today I mixed plain greek yogurt with PB2. Though it's PACKED with protein, the sourness of the greek yogurt didn't mix well with the PB2. There's a Chocolate PB2 that might work, but just the peanut butter? Not again. I ate it today (because it's packed with protein!), but yeah - I'll skip that combination next time. Cottage cheese last night and hummus were a treat as well as the time I had the instant mashed potatoes thinned with the beefy mushroom soup.
One thing that came to my mind this morning is that as part of my behavior modification is to try to stop obsessing about food. And though I do know what they mean, food is still an obsession at this point. Watching a clock...measuring, eating slowly, protein, low sugar, hydration, protein, fat grams, measuring, eating slowly... and so on. I feel MORE obsessed at this point than ever before. I don't think I was necessarily obsessed with food previously - I just didn't think about it much. It's something I plan on discussing with RD and LCSW.
All-in-all the week has gone by rather quickly. Each day seems to be a little better (though the exhaustion is still about the same). I'm not out walking laps around the neighborhood, but I am up doing small chores around the house. It's "moving" and not just sitting sedentary.
Again, I need to acknowledge how wonderful CME has been through this all. We share tasks, generally, but he's had to pick up the extra stuff that I can't do (or have been too tired to do) right now. I couldn't do this without his help. 143, CME.
"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~Psalm 139:14